Grief
by SarahHalina
Summary: When Sara is once again too late to say goodbye to someone she loves, old friends and new are there to help her deal with the loss. Rated T just in case.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: There will be spoilers for Arrow's season 6 finale "Life Sentence" so you have been warned. The idea came to me when it was revealed that Legends of Tomorrow would address the death of Quentin, but only in a small capacity and most of Sara's grief will take place prior to Season 4 of Legends of Tomorrow. Now, onto the story. I hope you all enjoy it.**

Nate, Ray, Mick and Zari were on a mission while Sara was in her room on the Waverider when her phone rang, so she answered it.

"Hello" Sara said.

"Sara Lance?" a woman's voice asked.

Sara was taken aback by the all-too familiar voice on the other end.

"Laurel?" Sara asked.

"Not exactly" Laurel said.

"Of course" Sara said.

Sara put the pieces together. Felicity had warned her about her deceased sister's doppelgänger running around Star City, but she never expected to hear from her.

"What's going on?" Sara asked.

"You need to come to Star City right away" Laurel said. "It's your father. He's been shot."

Sara felt weak as she sat down at the foot of the bed.

"Wh…What?" Sara managed to choke out. "Is he?"

"He's alive" Laurel said. "But."

"Of course" Sara said. "I'll be there as fast as possible."

Sara ended the call and ran out of her room.

"Gideon, plot a course for Star City: May 17, 2018" Sara said. "I'm taking the jump ship. Ray is in charge while I'm gone."

"Yes Captain" Gideon said.

Sara boarded the jump ship and it launched away from the Waverider heading for Star City.

At Starling General Hospital, Laurel was pacing the hallways when the doors opened and Sara walked in. She had one thing on her mind. Seeing her father. But, she practically stopped in her tracks when she saw Laurel standing there. Hearing her voice was one thing, but seeing the woman who was the spitting image of her deceased sister standing in front of her was something entirely different.

"Thank you for coming" Laurel said.

"How is he?" Sara asked.

"In surgery" Laurel said. "The doctors, they're optimistic, but I thought you should probably be here."

"Thank you" Sara said.

There was a moment of awkwardness.

"This is probably really strange for you, right?" Laurel said.

"A little" Sara confessed. "Are you, um, are you like my Laurel?"

"Hardly at all" Laurel confessed.

Sara couldn't help but stare.

Meanwhile, in the waiting room, Rene, John, Dinah, Curtis, Oliver and Felicity were patiently waiting for news on Quentin.

"How long is this going to take?" Rene asked, getting off the chair.

"How many times are you going to ask that?" Dinah asked.

"As many times as it takes to find out how long it's going to take" Rene said, frustrated.

Everyone was clearly becoming anxious when Agent Watson walked over to them. Everyone looked at her with confusion.

"Mr. Queen" Agent Watson said. "It's time."

"Time for what?" Felicity asked. "What is she talking about?"

"I'm sorry that I haven't explained this to everyone" Oliver said. "Hasn't been any time."

"There wasn't time to explain what?" Felicity asked.

The other FBI agent handcuffed Oliver, which sent everyone into defensive mode.

"You're arresting us?" Rene asked.

"What the hell are you doing?" Felicity asked, panicked.

"I thought you said we had immunity!" Rene shouted.

"You do" Agent Watson said. "Thanks to him."

"Oh my God" Felicity said, realizing what Oliver did.

"It was the only way" Oliver sighed.

"No, it was not the only way" Felicity said, angrily. "There are a million other ways."

"The judge threw out his case" Dinah said. "You can't do this."

"I can" Agent Watson said. "It's Federal."

"Federal" Dinah said.

"The bureau's going to stay in Star City until Diaz is brought in" Agent Watson said. "But only if Oliver agreed to turn himself in."

Everyone was freaking out as Agent Watson was trying to walk Oliver away when Sara and Laurel walked over to them.

"What the hell is going on here?" Sara asked.

The door opened.

"Wait a minute" John pleaded. "Just wait."

Dr. Schwartz walked over to them.

"How's Quentin?" Oliver asked.

"Mayor Lance seized during the procedure" Dr. Schwartz said, somberly. "The surgeons worked to revive him. They did everything they could, but his brain was deprived of oxygen for seven minutes."

Everyone braced for the horrible confession.

"He's gone" Dr. Schwartz said. "I'm very sorry."

Everyone was in shock.

"Unfortunately, this doesn't change our agreement" Agent Watson said.

"Mm-hmm" Oliver said, fighting back tears.

Oliver turned to Sara.

"I'm so sorry, Sara" Oliver said. "All of you, please take care of each other."

Oliver followed Agent Watson as they walked away. Sara turned to Felicity and cried on her shoulder while everyone else processed everything that happened.

A few minutes later, Laurel walked into Quentin's hospital room and looked at him laying in the bed. Laurel took his hand in hers.

"You were one of the only people who believed there was good in me" Laurel said. "And I know that it was because you wanted me to be the Laurel you lost, but even when I gave you plenty of reasons to give up on me, you never did. Thank you. And I'm sorry. If I hadn't gotten involved with Diaz and then dragged you into the mess, you would still be alive. I will make you a promise. I know that I can never live up to the legacy of your Laurel Lance, but I will try to live up to what you wanted me to be. What you believed I could be."

Sara opened the door to see Laurel standing there next to Quentin. Laurel turned around and saw Sara standing there.

"I'm sorry" Laurel said. "I just wanted to say goodbye. I'll leave you alone."

"Please stay" Sara said.

"I don't want to intrude" Laurel said.

"You're not" Sara said. "I'm not sure I can do this alone."

"If that's what you want, then I'll stay" Laurel said.

Sara didn't move from the doorway, so Laurel walked over to her.

"I can't do this" Sara said, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I can't say goodbye."

"You're not alone" Laurel said.

Sara walked over to Quentin's bedside as Laurel stood in the corner and watched Sara take Quentin's hand in hers. Tears were streaming down both Sara and Laurel's cheeks.

"I love you" Sara whispered.

Sara felt like she was paralyzed, so Laurel walked over to her and put her hand on Sara's shoulder without saying a word. After all, there was nothing she could say to make any of this better.

A few hours later, Sara stood outside Quentin's apartment with the bag of his personal effects. She pulled the key out of her pocket and opened the front door. Her heart sank as she stepped into the empty apartment. She sat on the couch and pulled his wallet out of the bag and opened it to see a picture of her and Laurel and then she broke down in tears. Sara pulled out her cell phone and looked at the contacts to see Ava's name there. She thought about calling her, but decided against it.

"How do I do this, daddy?" Sara asked, tears streaming down her cheeks. "How do I go on?"

Sara lay down on the couch, holding the picture close to her heart, and watched the hands on the clock move.


	2. Chapter 2

A couple of days later, Sara was in one of the rooms in Quentin's apartment zipping up the back of her black dress. She was dreading the day ahead. She was not ready to say goodbye to her father. There was a knock at the door, so Sara opened it to see Felicity standing there.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted a friend right now or if you wanted to be alone" Felicity said.

Sara had tears in her eyes, so Felicity gave her a hug.

"I spoke to Oliver" Felicity said. "He wishes so badly that he could be there for you, but."

"I know" Sara said. "How are you and William doing with that?"

"Don't worry about us" Felicity said. "How are you doing?"

"I don't know" Sara said. "I feel like I've been walking around in a nightmare for the past few days and I want to wake up, but I can't."

"What can I do?" Felicity asked.

Sara shook her head as tears filled her eyes.

"We're all here for you" Felicity reminded.

"I know" Sara said. "And I'm grateful."

Sara looked at the clock.

"We should get going" Sara said.

"Okay" Felicity said.

Sara grabbed her jacket and she and Felicity walked out of the apartment.

Ava boarded the Waverider to see Mick, Zari and Ray just hanging out.

"Have any of you spoken to Sara lately?" Ava asked. "I've been trying to get a hold of her, but she's not answering."

"We thought maybe she was with you" Zari said.

"No" Ava said. "Where could she be?"

"I think I know where she is" Nate said, walking over to them. "Gideon, turn on Channel 52 Star City."

A hologram appeared projecting Star City's news.

"Today Star City bids farewell to Mayor Quentin Lance who was shot earlier this week" the reporter said. "He is survived by his daughter, Sara Lance."

Everyone went silent.

At the cemetery, Felicity noticed that Sara was distracted.

"Hey, are you okay?" Felicity asked. "I mean, obviously you're not okay, but you seem distracted."

"I was just looking for Laurel" Sara said.

"You mean Black Siren?" Felicity asked.

"Yeah" Sara said.

"Honestly, she probably won't be here" Felicity said.

"Why not?" Sara asked.

"Because she feels guilty" Dinah said, walking over to them.

"Guilty about what?" Sara asked.

"She pissed off Diaz which led to your father getting shot" Dinah said.

"No" Sara said, in disbelief. "That's not true."

Anger, sadness and hurt took over Sara as the funeral began.

Sara listened to everyone say wonderful things about her father and without even realizing it, she found herself walking to the front. Everyone looked at Sara, who appeared to be in a daze.

"Quentin Lance" Sara said. "He was a wonderful man and an amazing father. I don't think I told him that nearly enough and I hope he can hear me now as I say it."

Tears streamed down Sara's cheeks.

"I really hope he can hear me" Sara cried.

Sara fell to her knees and Felicity ran over to her.

"He can" Felicity said, reassuringly. "And he knows how much you love him. He's always known."

John, Rene, Curtis and Dinah walked over to them and helped Sara to her feet.

"It's okay" John whispered.

They all shared a group hug.

Everyone was leaving and John looked at Sara.

"You need a ride?" John asked.

"No" Sara said. "I think I'm just going to hang out here for a while."

"Okay" John said. "Just know that you will always have a home in Star City. And even though your dad and your sister are gone, you still have a family. You have us."

"Thanks John" Sara said.

John gave Sara a hug and then walked away. Sara sat in between her father and her sister's graves and didn't say a word. Tears streamed down her cheeks as the cool breeze blew by. Sara felt like she was being watched so she turned around to see Laurel standing there.

"So you did come" Sara said.

"I wanted to be here" Laurel said. "I just couldn't."

"Because you blame yourself for what happened?" Sara asked.

Laurel was taken aback.

"Dinah told me" Sara said.

"Of course she did" Laurel said. "The Canary never liked me to begin with."

"Is she wrong?" Sara asked.

"Your father was the only person who believed I had goodness in me" Laurel said. "He was constantly pushing me to change my ways. To be the best version of myself possible. I was aligned with Diaz for so long, but when he literally burned a man alive because of a childhood grudge, I realized that I didn't want to be involved anymore. But, I also knew what would happen if I tried to leave, so I didn't. Then when Oliver found himself on trial for crimes he committed as the Green Arrow, Quentin told me to stand up to Diaz, so I lied. I told everyone in that courtroom that Tommy Merlyn was the Green Arrow. Diaz wasn't pleased about that. He held me prisoner and Quentin came to my rescue. He jumped in front of the bullet that was meant for me."

Laurel had tears in her eyes.

"I am so sorry" Laurel said. "Quentin and I vowed to have each other's backs and I couldn't save him from the mess I created."

Sara didn't say anything.

"I don't blame you for hating me" Laurel said. "I hate myself."

"I don't hate you" Sara said. "And you shouldn't either. This is exactly what my dad would do. There was no way he was going to let any version of his daughter get shot."

"I'm not his daughter and he knew that" Laurel said. "He didn't have to take a bullet for me."

"He didn't have to" Sara said. "But, there was no way he wasn't going to."

"I really am sorry" Laurel said.

"I know" Sara said. "And I forgive you. Now you need to forgive yourself."

Sara and Laurel hugged.

Sara was sitting on the ground when she felt a hand on her shoulder so she turned around to see Ava standing there.

"Why wouldn't you have called me?" Ava asked. "I would've been here for you. You know that."

"I know" Sara said. "I was going to. I just couldn't."

"Why not?" Ava asked.

"Because I was broken" Sara confessed. "Because I didn't want you to see me broken. I was scared."

"Did you think I would walk away if I saw you broken?" Ava asked. "Because I wouldn't have. I won't. I love you. I love all of you. Even the fiercest badasses are allowed to be broken."

Ava helped Sara to her feet and pulled her into a hug.

"How did you even know where I was?" Sara asked.

"Gideon accessed Star City news" Ava said. "And I should fair warn you that the team knows what's happening. I just wanted to see you alone before you are bombarded by them."

"Well, I appreciate that" Sara said.

Ava looked at Laurel's tombstone.

"The Black Canary" Ava said. "So this whole superhero thing runs in the family?"

"I guess it does" Sara said, smiling.

Ava pulled Sara close to her.

A few hours later, Sara and Ava boarded the Waverider to see everyone standing there.

"Are you okay?" Ray asked.

"We can take care of things if you want to stay in Star City for a while longer" Zari said.

"I'm fine" Sara lied. "What's our next mission?"

"We've got nothing" Nate said.

"Then I'll be in my room" Sara said.

Sara walked into her room as the Legends looked at each other.

"Alright, Gideon, plot that course" Nate said.

"Wait, what?" Ava asked.

"Constantine reported seeing dragons" Ray said.

"You just told your Captain that you didn't have a mission" Ava said.

"Sara just buried her father" Nate said. "I think she needs a breather. We have this handled."

"She has the right to know" Ava said.

"Look, we know you're all about following the rules" Zari said. "But, we, as a team, have agreed to handle this mission without Sara. We agreed that Sara needs some time to grieve."

"I need to tell her" Ava said. "I will pass on the recommendation to sit this one out, but I will not keep her in the dark about missions."

"All due respect, but you aren't a member of this team" Ray said.

"But, I love the Captain of this team" Ava said. "So when it comes to things she should be privy to, you can bet that I will let her know."

Ava walked into Sara's room.

Ava closed the door and Sara didn't turn around to face her.

"Constantine told the team about dragons" Ava said. "They didn't tell you because they think you should be able to grieve and they are convinced they can handle it."

"Okay" Sara said, sadness evident in her voice.

"Hey" Ava said, sitting at the edge of the bed. "Talk to me."

Sara didn't say anything as tears fell off her cheeks onto her pillow.

"If you want to go back to Star City, we can" Ava said.

"We can't do what I want" Sara said.

Ava walked around to the other side the bed and knelt down on the ground to look Sara in the eye.

"Hey, talk to me" Ava said.

"I was skeptical about joining the Legends at first" Sara said. "But, this became my home and the team became my second family. I love doing this. I really do."

"But?" Ava asked.

"What is the point of having a ship that can literally travel through time if you're always too late when it matters most?" Sara asked, sitting up. "Two years, one month and thirteen days ago I lost my sister. Rip had brought us back to five months after we had left. I can remember seeing my dad again and him telling me that my sister was killed. I never imagined that the last time I would have seen her alive was when she had told me to join the Legends as the White Canary. I was too late to say goodbye to her."

"You never told me that" Ava said.

"It's not something I enjoy talking about" Sara said. "And now with my dad. I got the call that he had been shot and I rushed as fast as I could to get there, but he went into surgery. A surgery that he never came out of."

Sara had tears in her eyes so Ava sat down next to her and put her arms around her.

"I know the rules say I can't go back, but damn it, what I wouldn't give to go back and see them alive again" Sara said. "Tell them how much I love them."

Ava pulled Sara close to her and Sara rested her head on Ava's shoulder.


End file.
